- love shits -

my goodness.....i havent updated my blog for a very very long time...
many things happened.....too many....i'm no longer stay in s.alam...kinda sad though...but i guess it was a stupid decision to move out...

may i talk about love ??? i'm not that really gud in love...shit happens when we're in love..i cried...hoping that i'm dying...i lost hope..true love doesnt exist at all...i love him so much but he cheated me...he's married....just imagine, when you found out that you're in a relationship with a man so called husband....not only husband...but husband with 2 kids !! liar !!

it happened when i received a call from his wife....i felt like things around me became darker,,,,blurry...i couldnt ever think..and i couldnt even said a word....and hoping all these were bad dreams...mmmm..maybe i deserved to get this..."what goes around comes around...what goes up must come down"..- song by alicia keys. i did bad thing last time and it happened back to me. i know that he's gonna leave his family, divorce and separate....just because he wants to be together with me..but what happened to his 2 kids ? can his wife able to take care all childrens things ?? shit...i am so damned confused..

thinking back...i really do not want to get married...and i do not want to commit anything....i'm tired all these shit things. damn...damn....damn....maybe one day i shall get married but my future husband will be as single status. not a divorcee status...i can imagine myself when i marry a divorcee man...keep listening to the stories of his kids....the kids are sick..the kids need money for bla bla bla...the kids are dying....i don't think i feel happy. do you think a father can ignore his kids just like that ??? do you believe when he said that he's not going to see his children anymore ?? can you believe that ??? and trusting a person is the most difficult part.....it is either truth or liar.. damn..

i cant make decision whether im going to accept him or not...i need to be alone for a while and i need to be in chilled, having fun with frens, party...do whatever things i wanna do...yep...at least i am not going to think harder and harder....so shit..